marriage, temperament, marital obligations, happy, relationship, wife, husband
<< previous
next >>
182
towards Gray’s depiction of his wife. The answer-poet does not commit himself to the portrait that Gray provides of his wife nor does he dismiss it outright, because the weight of his argument depends upon the irrelevance of the wife’s moral status. He uses this ambiguity to shift the focus of attention towards Gray’s responsibility to manage his wife effectively.
He moves on to consider the possibility of Gray’s misconduct within the relationship. He was perhaps prone to excesses of anger: “If rage did causelesse cause thee to complaine”, and ruled his wife unreasonably: “she liues no lenger bounde to beare/ The rule of such a frowarde hed” (l.5 and ll.13-14). Thus far the answer-poet seems to take the middle line between praise and blame of the two parties, and finally attributes the failure of their relationship to its simply being a bad match: “A badder match can not betide” (l.20). By mentioning that Gray bears responsibility for his wife’s behaviour, however, the answer attributes culpability for the marriage’s failure to him. Irrespective of his wife’s temperament it is his duty to bring their relationship into accord. In this way the answer reiterates the point that happy marriages are dependent upon husbands exercising temperance and reason and, through their competent management of their wives, a good husband ought to be capable of reforming a rebellious wife and directing her towards fulfilling her own marital obligations.
<< previous
next >>
Stumble It!
